Homebodies - And when I feel afraid...

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Published on Saturday, May 13, 2017

Rita Friesen

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I whistle a happy tune? Doesn’t quite do it for me! The source of our fears change over the years, as does our manner of dealing with them. It’s cute to watch a young child meet their own shadow for the first time. This grey and moving thing is mocking and evasive, can’t make it stop or go away, it follows wherever the body goes. Shadows don’t scare me any more. As I gently age – actually I am railing against the advancing years- I draw comfort from a phrase found in Psalm 23, “Even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” Death is but a shadow, I love that image.

As parents, we fear for our children, their safety, their choice of careers and partners, their success and failures all resonate to our very core. We can provide them with all the tools to succeed in life, but the work is theirs. Many of us do the “trust” thing, and then retreat to deep concern- worry and fear, really. And now, watching the news and seeing how this old world of ours is spinning, I feel afraid. Afraid for the generations to come and what will be left for them to love and enjoy. Thankful that feelings are not facts, I recall meaningful conversations with my paternal grandfather. He had witnessed the great wars and the Dirty Thirties and doubted that anything worse could ever occur. In his mind, these events symbolised the end of the world. It was, indeed, the end of the world as he had known it, but the earth remains. 

Some fears, things that cause me to be afraid are quite irrational. I know that to be a fact, but it has not yet altered my reaction to a snake slithering through the grass or resting on a warm stone. No snake has ever harmed me. I try to rationalise, it’s not the snake, it’s the sudden movement, but if anyone gently presented me with one to touch and hold, I would not, could not, do it. So it is the snake.

I keep coming back to deep thinking about getting older. An ache in the night, one that keeps me awake, prompts me to consider arising from my bed and unlocking the door, in case emergency personnel require access. It’s a sore back for goodness sake! Or an aching hip or knee, pick and choose. Or finances, that’s a great thought to lose peace of mind to! 

So, whenever I feel afraid… Take a hard look at the facts of the matter. My children, grandchildren and great grandchildren are mine to love and care for. They contribute to the contentment of my days, they are self sufficient and equipped. They are fine. Fact. The world is no worse or better than it was and I continue to do my part to make it as safe and sane as I can. Can’t do a thing about snakes or aging! Fact!