Faithfully Yours - Thirteen life-changing words

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Published on Sunday, January 14, 2018

Neil Strohschein
Neepawa Banner & Press

The words haunt me to this day. I first heard them many years ago. They were part of a musical offering presented by a couple in the church I was serving at the time. The haunting words were these: “Whatever it takes to draw me closer to you, Lord; that’s what I’ll be willing to do.” The first thought that crossed my mind when I heard those words was: “Be careful what you say or sing; because God has ways of calling your bluff; and he just might take you at your word.”

Many years later, I would find myself in a similar situation. I was sitting in the Intensive Care Unit of the Health Science Centre in Winnipeg. On the bed next to me, hooked up to machines that were monitoring her vital signs, was the woman who is now my wife. I remembered looking at her and thinking: “Whatever it takes to get her healthy again, I’m prepared to do it.”

I wasn’t bluffing; but I will be the first to admit that I had no idea of what lay ahead or of the challenges I would face after saying those 13 life-changing words.

I’ll be honest. I am not the greatest caregiver in the world. Like everyone else, I have had to learn “on the job;” learn how to care for others by doing it. Along the way, I have received guidance and help from other caregivers. From them, I have learned four important lessons that have helped me become a more understanding and compassionate caregiver.

Lesson One—Learn to live “one day at a time;” because every day is different. There will be good days. There will also be days that aren’t so good. Sometimes your house will be filled with laughter. Some days there will be frustration, anger and tears. As caregivers, we must learn to take each day as it comes and deal with each challenge as we encounter it.

Lesson Two—Pick your fights carefully. There will be times when, no matter how much you love the person for whom you care, you will have to say: “No; you can’t have what you want;” or “No, this is something I can’t do for you.” But those times will be rare. Good caregivers are discerning people. They know when to say “Yes,” when to say “No,” and when to say “What you’ve asked for can be done; but not right now.”

Lesson Three—Only do for others what they cannot do for themselves. Resist the temptation to jump in and do everything for the needy person. Let him or her figure out (through trial and error) how to do everyday tasks. Only help when your help is absolutely needed. Following this strategy will help to minimize the frustration that often comes when the demands on your time and energy seem to be excessive.

Lesson Four—Do everything in love. Remember that “love is patient and kind; not boastful, arrogant or rude. Love always protects, always hopes and always endures. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13) This love is a gift from God. It comes from God’s Spirit that lives within all who believe in him. We don’t have to create this love. All we have to do is release it.

Releasing that love will produce changes—first in us and then in the ones for whom we care. Over time, the experiences we have while caring for others will reveal hidden qualities in us that we never knew we had. More on that next week.