Homebodies - What I’ve learned from my daughter-in-law

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Published on Sunday, April 17, 2016

By Rita Friesen

The Neepawa Banner

There were three generations of Friesen women in the kitchen. I turned to my daughter-in-law and said my next column was going to be about what I have learned from my favourite daughter-in-law. Her daughter looked at me, thinking for a moment before reminding me that I only have one daughter-in-law.

[That means that the younger generation may have caught on when I speak of my favourite oldest grandchild, favourite twenty-five-year-old, twenty-six, twenty-two, twenty-one, grandchild, etc. that they are all my favourite!]  Conceding the point, I went on to thank Mrs. Friesen the younger of some of the things I appreciate about her theories and life laws. The conversation stemmed from left-overs. Rather than lump foods into separate containers, make up meal size plates for freezing. Most folks know that the kitchen is one of my least favourite places to be found at work – eating is a different matter! There were seldom leftovers in a home with four teenagers, but should there be such a thing, individual plates were prepared and ready for a late night fridge raid. She made up rules as she raised her family. If there happened to be a variety of foods in the fridge, she heated them all up and filled plates, handing them out – no picking and choosing which left-over you wanted. I believe she called it the ‘bar mitzvah’ supper. Don’t know why, just know that it was an effective and efficient way to clean out the fridge!

My daughter-in-law was raising her children about the same time I was spending a great deal of time with grandchildren – her children included. We weren’t overly protective parents, as the stories around the family table at Easter reminded us. The kids rode mini-bikes, go-carts, the garden tractor and moved on to dirt bikes and autos. They made forts, hammering and sawing away and even carting in a farmer’s grain to make a carpet in their ‘home’. They climbed trees and caught snakes, they were pioneers trekking across the prairie, the trailer behind the old 110 John Deere the covered wagon. The rules were that you treat each other with respect- even if the other person is a sibling, and unless an action was immoral, illegal or endangered a life, a child could be fairly certain that it was okay. There were some debates over the definition of illegal, farm kids (and their adults) do bend a few rules!

One could hardly call my daughter-in-law a raging feminist, but she has always been her own person, as it should be. There wasn’t a project that she was afraid to tackle – she may have learned that from her elders! Equality and justice are important. When I corrected my children’s grammar she asked that I correct hers when needed, or she would not learn either. I tried, but it was challenging. 

Each family member has enhanced and enriched my life. It’s good.