Homebodies - Peace must come from within


Rita Friesen
The Neepawa Banner

'Consider that change for its own sake rarely leads to peace.’ This challenge is just one of the many that the author of an inspirational book issues. It appears, to me, that many seek a change, believing that with the change will come peace, peace of mind, freedom from conflict. Does it stem from not simply being in the moment?

Most of us couldn’t wait to start school. And then we couldn’t wait to be done school. Sixteen was a desired age, a driver’s license, and then eighteen would be perfect. A partner, a family, a home, and always a good job/career to support our desired lifestyle. It went on and on, a new goal appearing before the last one was fully tasted. 

‘Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, Or what’s a heaven for?’ Robert Browning. I recall memorizing that in high school. That dreaming for the future is a huge part of changes. I also recall teaching my children to dream high, strive for your goal, knowing that most of the kindness and loving done on this earth is done by the ‘average’ person. We all shine in our own world. 

So we strive for our goals, and with achieving comes change. Not simply change for change sake. There is no fault in change for change sake if that is all it is. Believing that change for change sake does not always bring peace. Don’t we know that from political elections! Or a change in leadership in an organization. 

Years ago, many years ago, I was in an unhealthy union. I determined that the only change that could be made, would have to be by me. I became a single parent of two small children, and that change did bring physical peace. The mental and spiritual peace then followed. It was change with a purpose. Difficult decision with social ramifications, and very worth it. 

There are times when my hair sports a pink or blue streak. That is change for change sake! Just want something different. The coloring hurts neither me nor you. No ramifications! 

The sentence caused me to reflect on my life, the lessons learned and those who helped me learn them. I was reminded of the time one of my children wanted to run away from home. As we sat and discussed the feelings and the reality, my child looked at me, and in a sad voice quietly stated, ‘ if I run away, I still take me with me.’ Exactly! Changing where we live, or with whom we live, is not a magic potion for peace.  New town, new job, new partner, not wrong for the right reasons. Believing that these changes will change you/me is a false hope. A change, done for the right reason, and in the right way, (right for you/me!), can bring peace. The peace must come from within, not dependent on the withouts.